“The power of love is perfect, creative, self-organizing, healthy, self-healing and abundant. The power of fear is insane, destructive, violent, disease-producing, and lacking. It expresses itself as an impostor self, perverting your true nature and making you behave in a way that is opposite of who you truly are. It is spiritually immature to underestimate the power of either of these two forces. Both of them are active, and both of them have their eyes on you. One wishes you well, and the other wishes you dead.” Marianne Williamson
When I first heard this, it was life-changing. The epiphany crystallized when I saw how every decision I make is either motivated by love or fear, and if I could boil the decision down to where it was being motivated from, I’d always know the right choice to make.
Take weight, for instance. I could be out there working out day and night. But if I’m out there solely based on the fear of dying young, cancer, being undesirable, failure… then my workouts really make no difference because I’m giving my power to fear, and that is weakening my entire life.
With work, the past couple months I fell into fear in my life over money. I was out there streaming from this fear of “If more people don’t sign up, I may be homeless.” That’s why every stream felt wrong to me. That’s why every stream was draining me. I had friends tell me I was being too hard on myself, but somewhere inside me, I knew. I was in the wrong energy, but I couldn’t straighten myself out.
I’ve worked hard this past week in all areas of my life to close this chapter on lack, and chase out the fear that got in during it. The streams I did the other day were awesome and fun again! And that’s the point. These streams are supposed to be a gift of love, but that means I have to be aligned with love when I do them.
Usually, I have rituals on streaming days to raise that energy because I believe the power I unleash in my life by choosing love over fear is as close to magic as you can get. And when it’s loose in my life, that flows through the streams and good things happen for those it connects with too.
Think of all the choices you make every day, the ones that drain you and the ones that give you strength… I’m betting if you looked deep enough to the why of your choice, it would also show you the why of the result. When we choose anything because we’re afraid of a consequence, that thing becomes a burden to us, a drain on our light.
Don’t get me wrong, we all do have to do things at times that we don’t want to, and we get angry, or feel forced, or begrudge that we’ve been pushed into doing what we didn’t want. But if we can catch the choice at its roots, if we can choose from love, then it doesn’t matter what we’re doing, we’ll feel empowered. We’ll be at peace.
If you agree to bake the cookies for the bake sale because people will be angry with you if you don’t, that’s fear-motivated. It doesn’t matter how grand your cookies are or how much everyone loves them, you won’t feel good about any of it. You’ll feel like you lost a piece of yourself, and you did. You gave fear a bit of an edge in your soul.
Same bake sale, same cookies, but you made the decision as a display of love for your child… you then had a sense of joy the entire time you baked, and whether anyone even bought a single one didn’t matter. You were dwelling in love and that is always going to feel good.
Fear drains. Love energizes.
When you choose out of fear, anger, resentment, or any sense of I have no choice… you are choosing against love, defeating yourself and empowering the power fear has in your life.
This is also why it is so terribly harmful to judge. Harmful to you, and harmful to the other person who may not be strong enough in their decision to choose from love, and your disapproval knocks them back into fear. You have absolutely no way of knowing what place the person made their decision from. I can be doing all the right things for all the wrong reasons, but you’d say good job because on the surface it looked positive. However, I do something that seems against your beliefs or your way of doing something and you condemn me, yet I could be acting in the purest love.
Love and fear don’t have concretes. It is energy. It flows in and out of the exact same choices and activities with ease.
It does not matter what you are doing, it only matters why.
Even the holy scriptures tell us everything is permissible, just not everything is good. In my opinion, the distinguishing factor is the why. I see this as the overlying message of the entire new testament. It’s about choosing love over fear.
We all know what it feels like to make a choice from love or a choice from fear. You can language that any way you need to, but connecting to that deeper part of yourself and staying honest to it will be the biggest determining factor to your success or failure at anything you do, from parenting, to weight loss, to your relationships, to your career. I know you can have a fabulously happy and successful life, but you have to dwell in love, and the best way I know to get there is by feeding it and starving out fear every chance you get.
So this week as things around here settle down some and I go back to streaming regularly again, I’m going to be intentional about my choices, and paying attention from where the answers come. I’m making a pledge right now, one that I’d love you to make with me: I will do whatever I can to make sure that fear never rules my choices or my life. I will choose love. Because when we truly show love and kindness, if we can banish fear, we truly change the world.